Dear Friends and
Family:
Some of you know, the
majority of you do not. In July 2008, three
months after the birth of my second (and youngest) child, Jaison, I was
admitted to a Psychiatric Center for Postpartum Psychosis. That is a severe postpartum
mood disorders and, truth be told, it is very scary and very lonely. I lost my sanity, my mind was filled with
false beliefs of reality and I was hearing negative voices telling me horrible
things. I was scared of people at any
given time, for any given reason. I was
unsure of who to trust. I was in and out
of sanity and to “lose your mental capabilities” is very difficult to explain
and to endure.
Since then, I have
been getting better, though I suffered from panic attacks, severe depression
and a lack of maternal instinct. Four
years later, I have completely changed, I am better. I am no longer depressed. A panic attack is possible, but I haven’t had
any in some time. I love my children
dearly. I love my husband
immensely. My family supported me every
step of the way and without them and my spiritual brothers and sisters, I would
probably be dead—by suicide.
This is something I
can talk about now. It took a while to
accept that I had a mental illness. I
took a while to get the courage to tell others.
And it took a while for me to understand what happened. I share my story because I want other women
who are having children to be aware of this.
Be on the lookout for this. I
want their husbands and supporting cast to be aware of this. I do not want this to happen to anyone else,
though, it will. But at least I can do
my part, and let my friends know, so you can be proactive for someone you know
or for yourself.
I decided to start a
blog because of this. But, this isn’t
going to be a sad, gloomy, “woe is me” blog.
The focal point will not be me and my problems. It will focus on motherhood, marriage, and much more. I do want to strengthen new mothers and
fathers and just let my story be known, so others can take something from it
and help another person. Not just women
with postpartum issues, but anyone who suffers a mental illness, or any
illness, for that matter. And also to
strengthen those that will care for them and those that love them.
Along with blogging
on my illness and recovery, I (being the person I am) will also talk about
whatever may come to mind, which literally can be anything. I want to be a writer, I want to share life
stories and open up about the things that go on in my head. That can be a good thing, or bad….
If you have any
questions, or comments, I will love to hear them and respond.
Alison
